29 July 2007

Johnny Five is Alive!

I know every child of the 80's loved the Short Circuit movies. That Johnny Five was just so irresistible. And who didn't shed a tear when he, near death in the above scene, managed to eek out, "Johnny Five is....alive."

So, I alert you to this. Let's pitch in and win this auction and bring Johnny home! He doesn't deserve to live in a movie studio warehouse for the rest of his life! He could be fighting crime, vacuuming a house, or making a mixed drink.

Send your check today. We still need $99,900 and there are only 4 days left in the auction!

Glamour Shots by Deb

I have a funny brother. This year for his birthday he sent me $50 and said he wanted us to get studio photos done and to send him a couple of the prints. (He's going to Iraq soon). So we went to Sears this weekend and got in line behind two yuppie Seattle parents doing a photo shoot of their 1-year-old. I was skeptical of some of the poses the photo girl made us do. Here's why:

Prom 2007! The photo girl told me to put my hand closer to Robin's butt. "It's okay," she said, "you're married."

Twister anyone? Right foot Green! Left foot Red! Left arm Yellow!

Here, you look at the camera while I look at you. And hold my hands while you do it. It'll look great, I promise!

The photo girl said to imagine I was weightless and surrounded by tiny little seahorses. Personally, I was looking for something a little more billowy.

Fieldtrip to Springfield...WA?

Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart, the home of $1.79 Squishees and $3.99 6-packs of Buzz cola. So, one of our 7-Elevens was turned into a Kwik-E-Mart for July to promote the new Simpsons movie. I've been a Simpsons fan since the first seasons when we would sneak to watch episodes with the volume turned low. (We weren't allowed because my Mom thought it was inappropriate although compared to today's TV it's Sesame Street). But still, I’m a little skeptical of this movie. Can they have any new jokes left after already making 400 episodes? Plus, it's hard to justify forking out $9 to see the movie when you can watch about 4 televised episodes daily for free.

Marge, let me help you with your bag. Hey, if you're not busy tonight...

Squishees taste just like Slurpees. It's a conspiracy!

My favorite part about Kwik-E-Mart? The clerk talked and looked just like Abu. I asked for a Mr. Burns bobblehead and here's what happened:
Abu (picture an Indian accent): “Barney?”
Me: “No, Mr. Burns.”
Abu: “Barney?”
Me: "No, Mr. Burns.”
Abu: “Oh, Burns”
Then Abu went into the backroom to look for Mr. Burns and came back with a Barney. D’oh!

27 July 2007

Take me down to Chocolate City...

...where the drugs are dealt and the hookers aren't pretty.

There's this club in Seattle called Chocolate City. Basically you could drive by at any time, day or night, and see a number of people loitering, rif-raffing, busking, drinking from mysterious brown paper bags, turning tricks, or dealing drugs outside. Cops were often in their patrol cars nearby. I had heard it's the most dangerous corner in Seattle because of all the drug deals that went down there. Lucky for us, it's right across the street from our neighborhood Safeway. So, it was hard to resist wondering what lay inside this Xanadu that is Chocolate City. My old roommate, Tom, and I always bragged that we would one day stop by this "club" and play pinball, get a drink, or do something. (Deep down I was always scared, though.)

Unfortunately, that day never came because Chocolate City lost its liquor license and is now kaput. And all its one-time "customers" have gone too. Seeing our opportunity, Tom and I recently stopped by for a visit to experience Chocolate City and had a helping of loitering. I guess without the drugs it's not that fun because we got bored after 5 minutes or so. But here are some pictures from our trip.

I wore my Redskins jersey to fit in with the usual crowd.

While we were enjoying ourselves, someone who didn't look like a Chocolate City resident drove by in his SUV and honked and waved and started laughing. That's right Chocolate City, there's a new sheriff in town.

21 July 2007

Is Harry dead?

Maybe I'll tell you after the bar is over on July 26. Before then, don't spoil it or I'll go Voldemort on you.

18 July 2007