09 August 2007

Sleeping Disorder-ly Conduct

A lot of you probably know that I sleepwalk and sleeptalk. Here are my top ten stories. Vote on the poll for your favorite story.

Mission #1—In my first city I was in an apartment with three other Elders. They didn’t always go to bed on time. One night they were up late in the other bedroom when I “woke up,” came in, and asked, “Do you need to wash your hands?” They started laughing at me and I got offended so I stormed out and said, “If you’re going to laugh at me, I’m going back to bed!” On my way back to bed I stopped for a drink in the bathroom but they heard the water and thought I was washing my hands so they laughed even harder.

Mission #2—One night my companion and I were taking the overnight ferry boat from Rome to the island of Sardegna. We had a little cabin with two bunk beds and a sink. It was comfortable enough and we had made this trip back and forth pretty often but one night I think I felt claustrophobic because I woke up and started yelling over and over, “Let me out, let me out!” as I banged on the cabin wall. My companion woke up and yelled, “Elder, shut up! You’re sleep talking!” I woke up and realized how foolish I must have looked so I just went back to bed without saying anything.

BYU #1—One night I woke up around 2 am and went into the bedroom of my roommates Ben and Nate. They were still awake, having pillow talk late into the night. I opened the door and said with a really serious, whispery voice, “Guys, there’s a body on the floor!” So they came into my room to investigate, turned on the light, woke up my roommate Jake who bolted up in bed, and discovered that there was not, in fact, a body on the floor. False alarm. They started laughing, I got offended, and quickly defended myself by saying, “Well, it was just there!”

BYU #2—Once I went to bed while my roommate Jake still had the light on. Like any sensible person I had the covers over my face to block out the light. Suddenly I started thrashing around and yelled, “Get these freaking black things off of me!!!” In my “dream” I thought some spiders were hanging from the ceiling and attacking me and reacted like any sensible person would have in that situation.

BYU #3—Once I woke up in our apartment at The Colony in Provo, went downstairs, opened front door, and looked outside for a while. Then I went back to bed. Also around this time I once took a shower in my sleep and went back to bed. The reason I know this happened is because when I really woke up in the morning to get ready, my towel was all wet and the memory came back to me.

BYU #4—Another time in The Colony I went downstairs in the middle of the night and sat on the sofa while my roommate Ben talked to his old mission buddy. He asked me if I was sleepwalking and I said no (I will always tell you I’m awake if you ask me, even though I’m probably not). I sat there for a while, didn’t say anything, and then went back to bed.

BYU #5—Also in The Colony apartment, my roommate Josh woke up in the morning with a magic marker mustache and suspiciously there were magic marker markings (the same color) on my hands that same morning. We still don’t know to this day what happened there.

BYU #6—My friend Luke and I backpacked around Italy for a month after I graduated from BYU. We usually stayed in crappy, crowded hostel rooms to save money. This one place in Rome had 4 bunk beds in the same room. This 25-year-old Australian guy kind of ran the place in exchange for free rent. Apparently he slept in whichever bed was free each night. In the morning he said to me, “Mate, you scared the %$#@ out of me last night! You were crazy!” Apparently he came into our room late that night to sleep and I jumped out of bed with a crazed look on my face, yelled at him, and scared him off. I’m not sure where he ended up sleeping that night.

Seattle #1—Robin woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me to turn off the reading lamp on my side of the bed. “Why is it on?” I demanded, annoyed that she woke me up. For some reason, I wasn’t the only annoyed person that night.

Seattle #2—One morning a few weeks after we were married, Robin woke up and found all her purses lined up nicely over her feet at the end of the bed. These purses usually live on the wall across the bedroom. When I woke up I asked her, “How did they get there?” For some reason she blamed me.

Here are the results of the poll. Looks like a tie.


two forks said...

don't let him fool you... he has conveniently left out about 6 other sleepwalking stories from the past 7 months... that's not a very good average.

mdcoombs said...

christian, i had NO IDEA you sleepwalk/talk!! i don't think i've heard any of these stories before. my fav two were the moustache one and robin's purses. what are the other 6?