22 April 2008

Earth Day!



Happy Earth Day to all! How should we celebrate Earth Day, you ask? According to our government:

"Earth Day is a time to celebrate gains we have made and create new visions to accelerate environmental progress. Earth Day is a time to unite around new actions. Earth Day and every day is a time to act to protect our planet."

It turns out that people in Seattle like to celebrate it every day. Examples:
  • A local Subaru dealership is offering to plant a tree when you buy a car from them, or even test-drive one! If you plant a braeburn apple tree in my yard, we have a deal. I heard those are really good.
  • The mayor is offering a tax credit if you turn in your gas-powered lawn mower for one of those manual push ones. Good idea Mayor Nickels. That's sure to save the environment.

  • You are fined $50 by the City if you don't recycle properly. I stick it to the man by not washing out my milk and juice cartons. Take that!

  • The mayor is contemplating a $.20 tax for each plastic or paper bag you use at the grocery store instead of bringing your own reusable bags. Big deal. Italy's been doing this for years. Except they do it because socialism isn't free.

  • Bike riders in the local annual Solstice Parade paint their bodies and ride naked and people bring their families to watch. Finally, an activity the whole family can enjoy.

  • The Earth Liberation Front burned down some mansions because they weren't built "green" enough. Hint to everyone: just put the word "green" or "hybrid" in front of anything and people in Seattle will think it's good for the environment.

Past holiday greetings:

2006: If you don't get it, click here. Or read current events.


2005:

6 comments:

two forks said...

to celebrate i will eat a green salad for lunch...

Mary said...

do you ever creep yourself out when you paste your head onto a toddler's body? like chuckie reincarnate? spoooooooky.....

Dittmer said...

What's up with your weird Earth Day font?

Yaj said...

I celebrated by making a lot of green today... I bought a huge, new riding mower - the (green color) John Deere 14,000XLT+! It has a big gulp holder, umbrella, freon-filled air conditioner, CB radio to call home from the back forty, well, the back 1/8 acre and the XL second gas tank so I can ride it to the store and back for errands. You should see all the plastic bags that sucker pulls in the convenient trailer! I named it "Nikolai." I feel like I can mow the whole planet! I'll begin tomorrow. Wow, what an Earth Day! I ended it by shooting off a John Deere trailer-load of really brilliant fireworks! Somehow the whole neighborhood smells really sulphurous! The whole day has been one of thesis, antithesis and synthesis, thanks to Nikolai... Who loves ya baby?!

Yaj said...

Oh, when I mow, should I be naked? Well, it has to start somewhere!

Shauna said...

Actually, the naked parade isn't until June and you can't say you've lived in Seattle until you've seen it(a once in a lifetime experience)!