26 February 2009


Why are Wendy's hamburgers square?

Why do 10-second ringtones cost $1.99
when full songs on iTunes cost $.99?

Why do people pay $2 for a bottle of Aquafina
or Dasani when it's actually just tap water?

Why is the small size at Starbucks called Tall?

Why does that Billy Mays get so excited
about Oxiclean?

Why is Chicken Of The Sea actually tuna?

Would a goofy-looking chump like Luke Russert
have gotten internships with PTI and Late Night
With Conan O'Brien and a correspondent job with
MSNBC if his dad weren't the late Tim Russert?

Does Windex really clean/sanitize tanning
booths and gym equipment?

Why don't the iPod headphones fit in my ears?

Does whitening toothpaste really do anything?

Does the third Manning brother feel like a loser?

How come no matter what movie you see him in,
Forest Whittaker looks the same age?

Do people really mistake DiGiorno
pizza for "delivery"?

Why do marching bands still perform at
halftime of college football games?

Does Dick Vitale know that his voice is
grating and annoying?

Why isn't it socially acceptable to use song and dance to tell a
story or make a point in real life, but it is in musicals?

Have people realized yet that all John Grisham
novels have the same plot?

Do you know anyone who has actually
watched a WNBA game start to finish?

Do you know anyone who has seen a friend's
engagement ring and exclaimed, "He went to Jared?!"


chartie said...

I at least know about the Wendy's hamburgers. They are square because you can put more burgers on the grill if they are square. You maximize the use of your grilling surface.

Mmmm, Wendy's is good!

Cynthia said...

I am aware of the repeating plot scheme of the John Grisham novels and yet fall for it every time. I still read all his books.

Yaj said...

I know the answers to those and many more questions. I am surprised by such myopia...

the guitarist from hell said...

Wendy's hamburgers are stamped out of a machine that makes them square--that's why. You squish in the beef and it makes burgers efficiently.

And they thought they would be different. That's the story, from an anonymous former Wendy's prep cook (with deference to "Chartie").