28 October 2009

The Running Man



You may know that I am training to run the Seattle Marathon on November 29. People seem to think this is a big deal, but if Lance Armstrong and Katie Holmes can do it, why can't I?

You: But it doesn't sound like you to spend so much time and effort on something.
Me: You're right, but somehow I've already spent more time training in the last few months than I did studying during law school.

You: Did you know that a marathon is 26.2 miles?
Me: Now you tell me.

You: I thought you didn't like running.
Me: I enjoy running almost as much as mayonnaise. But I am doing this as a personal challenge. You know, like when you drive home from the store and try to hit all the green lights along the way.

My goal at first was to win and donate the proceeds to a good cause. Then I realized that people can run a marathon faster than I can run a half marathon. So then I decided to raise $1 million and donate it to a good cause.

I'm running to benefit The Hope Heart Institute, a non-profit based in Bellevue, WA. Heart disease is the number one killer of men, women, and children and The Hope promotes heart disease research and awareness. I thought the least I could do was raise $1 million to fund their many student education, community outreach, and medical research programs. (I still haven't received my cashier checks from the Nigerian Government investments I made via email last year so I personally don't have that much money.)

This is where you come in. Now that the economy is on the up-and-up, why not contribute a few dollars? All you have to do is click HERE and follow the instructions to donate to my good cause. Just think--if each of my blog readers donated a few dollars, we would easily raise more than $1 million!

I'll be sure to post a blog about my experiences on the day of the big race but for now please enjoy some photos of my cold weather training:




21 October 2009

What's In A Name?

If you're like me, you probably love rap music (which is the same thing as hip-hop in case you're wondering.) I guess it's something about the mad fly beats and the myriad ways to rhyme swear words that keeps me coming back for more. I especially love the clever names rappers make for themselves. How do they do it?!? Well, thanks to a little research by yours truly, now you'll know.

C-Murder—He must have had a Sandra Bullock-like premonition because he chose this name BEFORE he was convicted of murder earlier this year.


MC Hammer—He's probably the most famous celebrity Mormon out there. He got his name when he used to deejay Stake Dances in Oakland.


Young MC—Obviously he is MC Hammer's son.


Flo Rida—This one is boring. He was born in Florida. Not very original, I know.


50 Cent—How much money he would win on Jeopardy.


Jay-Z—No one knows where Jay-Z comes from but he obviously ditched his given name (Shawn Carter) because his parents spelled "Shawn" the girl way. (P.S. How did a guy who looks like this get Beyonce???)


P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Puffy Combs—He was forced to change it from P. Diddy to Puff Daddy because of copyright infringement suit brought by Nintendo over their Diddy Kong character.

Vanilla Ice—People think he chose this name because he's white, but actually it's because his favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla.


Sir Mixalot—He got this name for his love of baking and using Kitchen Aid mixers. His specialty: lemon bars.


Queen Latifah—Most people don't know this but she's actually the mother of Prince.


Lil Bow Wow—He got this nickname when he was a toddler because he used to eat dog food from the dog’s bowl.


Flavor Flav—Women he dated gave him this name because of the food stuck in his gold teeth.


Q-Tip—He has an obvious earwax problem. Look how he covers his ears in public.


Dr. Dre—he got this nickname because he finished one year of med school and then dropped out. Rumor is he was going to do his residency in gunshot wound trauma.


Tupac—May he rest in peace. No matter how hard he worked out, he could get only two abs to look toned.


Kanye West—"Kanye" is actually street slang for "I'm gonna let you finish but..."


Souljah Boy—He chose this name after he joined the Army. It turns out he just really sucks at spelling.


Snoop Dogg—Over the years Snoop's drug use has overshadowed his love for cartoons, especially Peanuts, from which he obviously stole his name.


Eminem—He loves chocolate.


Busta Rhymes—His real name is Buster but when Arrested Development came out, people often compared him to Buster Bluth. This humiliated him so he change it to Busta.


K-Fed—Most people don't know this but he worked as a Fed Ex driver until he had to quit to take care of his kids after Britney went off the deep end. Some say you'll never see a better parallel parker again.


Nelly—His real name is Cornell but people kept getting blinded when they would talk to him and the sun hit his gold teeth just right and they would yell out, "Whoa Nelly!" It just stuck.


Lil Wayne—You can't tell from the photo but he's actually 36" tall.


Sisqo—He buys his gold chains from Costco and he puts Crisco in his hair.


Ice T—He got his nickname because his favorite drink on the Law & Order set is iced tea.


C-Biscuit—No one even calls him this. He just thinks it's cool so that's what he refers himself to on his blog. He even recently made his own lame personal logo. So basically he's a loser.

06 October 2009

Personal Logo: C-Biscuit

Well apparently Tom Brady just got his own personal logo:


It's supposed to cleverly include his initials and jersey number but I think it's kind of boring. Not to mention that Michael Jordan, Roger Federer, and Lebron James have already had personal logos for years.



I guess they're okay but I thought, "If these fetchers can do it, why can't I?" With my extensive Photoshop training and years of graphic design experience, here's what I came up with:

Hey Nike, put this crap on some sweatshirts and let's make it rain!