21 October 2009

What's In A Name?

If you're like me, you probably love rap music (which is the same thing as hip-hop in case you're wondering.) I guess it's something about the mad fly beats and the myriad ways to rhyme swear words that keeps me coming back for more. I especially love the clever names rappers make for themselves. How do they do it?!? Well, thanks to a little research by yours truly, now you'll know.

C-Murder—He must have had a Sandra Bullock-like premonition because he chose this name BEFORE he was convicted of murder earlier this year.

MC Hammer—He's probably the most famous celebrity Mormon out there. He got his name when he used to deejay Stake Dances in Oakland.

Young MC—Obviously he is MC Hammer's son.

Flo Rida—This one is boring. He was born in Florida. Not very original, I know.

50 Cent—How much money he would win on Jeopardy.

Jay-Z—No one knows where Jay-Z comes from but he obviously ditched his given name (Shawn Carter) because his parents spelled "Shawn" the girl way. (P.S. How did a guy who looks like this get Beyonce???)

P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Puffy Combs—He was forced to change it from P. Diddy to Puff Daddy because of copyright infringement suit brought by Nintendo over their Diddy Kong character.

Vanilla Ice—People think he chose this name because he's white, but actually it's because his favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla.

Sir Mixalot—He got this name for his love of baking and using Kitchen Aid mixers. His specialty: lemon bars.

Queen Latifah—Most people don't know this but she's actually the mother of Prince.

Lil Bow Wow—He got this nickname when he was a toddler because he used to eat dog food from the dog’s bowl.

Flavor Flav—Women he dated gave him this name because of the food stuck in his gold teeth.

Q-Tip—He has an obvious earwax problem. Look how he covers his ears in public.

Dr. Dre—he got this nickname because he finished one year of med school and then dropped out. Rumor is he was going to do his residency in gunshot wound trauma.

Tupac—May he rest in peace. No matter how hard he worked out, he could get only two abs to look toned.

Kanye West—"Kanye" is actually street slang for "I'm gonna let you finish but..."

Souljah Boy—He chose this name after he joined the Army. It turns out he just really sucks at spelling.

Snoop Dogg—Over the years Snoop's drug use has overshadowed his love for cartoons, especially Peanuts, from which he obviously stole his name.

Eminem—He loves chocolate.

Busta Rhymes—His real name is Buster but when Arrested Development came out, people often compared him to Buster Bluth. This humiliated him so he change it to Busta.

K-Fed—Most people don't know this but he worked as a Fed Ex driver until he had to quit to take care of his kids after Britney went off the deep end. Some say you'll never see a better parallel parker again.

Nelly—His real name is Cornell but people kept getting blinded when they would talk to him and the sun hit his gold teeth just right and they would yell out, "Whoa Nelly!" It just stuck.

Lil Wayne—You can't tell from the photo but he's actually 36" tall.

Sisqo—He buys his gold chains from Costco and he puts Crisco in his hair.

Ice T—He got his nickname because his favorite drink on the Law & Order set is iced tea.

C-Biscuit—No one even calls him this. He just thinks it's cool so that's what he refers himself to on his blog. He even recently made his own lame personal logo. So basically he's a loser.


two forks said...

how many times do i have to edumacate you?? rap is NOT the same as hip hop yo.

Laura said...

Thanks for the usual good laughs!

Yaj said...

Just between us guys, Tupac was really a One Pack, if you know what I mean... Gang shoot out accident, don'tcha know.

That was quite the history lesson. Hopefully now I will be even better at Trivial Pursuit.

Or is it Tri-vial Persoot?