11 December 2009

Dear Golf Digest,

You really had perfect timing this month. What are the odds that your current cover story, "10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger," would come out the same week Tiger crashed his car into a tree and his multiple extra-marital affairs were revealed? Your premonition that Tiger was qualified to give advice to the President was spot on.

I'm not sure if I agree with all of Tiger's tips, though. Take these, for example:

Tip 1: Choose one day and always wear the same color that day. I call red on Sundays, but you can purple on Tuesdays.
Tip 3: Having extra-marital affairs with a dozen women across the country will do wonders for your marriage, career, and image.
Tip 4: Sign an endorsement deal with GM. That way, if you want a free new car, you just have to back your old SUV into a fire hydrant and the neighbor's tree.
Tip 7: Wearing Nike hats at all times is the best way to hide your rapidly progressing baldness.
Tip 9: Fans love it when you swear or throw your clubs after a bad shot. Do this whenever possible.

Maybe you should stick with tips on how to get out of the bunker?

My other question is why are people saying, "How could Tiger cheat on his wife? She is hot!" Do they think it would be okay if she weren't?



Leiland said...

For some reason I think Tiger fits right in with the President's advising crowd...

Yaj said...

I think Tiger needs some tips on how to GET out of the bunker.