18 January 2010

Howdy, Neighbor!

Jerry had Kramer. Homer has Flanders. And now I have Tony the Mailman.

Yes, that's right. My mailman just moved into my building.

You're probably thinking, "If I know Oh Pepper?, you're making this up. This is way too far-fetched to be real. And you just told us how you broke up with your mailman."

Well, I thought so, too. For the past month there really hasn't been any contact with him besides a note with our mail on Christmas Eve saying he hoped we had a good Christmas. (I'm pretty sure no one else got that note.)

Then last night we tried to go somewhere but our car was blocked by a mattress delivery truck. The delivery guys were taking their sweet time bringing a mattress to the bottom apartment in our building through the side door. I walked over and told them I couldn't get out. When I got back in my car to wait I looked over again and there was Tony the Mailman standing by the delivery guys. He was looking at me and smiling but I couldn't believe my eyes (I wasn't wearing my glasses and plus he was kind of far away) so I looked away to comprehend what was going on. I said to Robin, "I think that's Tony the Mailman." She looked and agreed with me. Then we drove away repeating the phrase, "Oh my gosh," over and over.

Later when we got home we looked at the names on the mailboxes and sure enough, there it was: "Apt. 101: Tony the Mailman."

So let me recap things for you:

1. Over the past couple of years I got to know my mailman because he always lingered a little longer than necessary when I happened to be home to receive a package. He would often go off on uncomfortable tangents like how he has bad credit or why USPS management sucks.
2. A few months ago he invited himself to jog with me.
3. A few months ago he asked for my phone number.
4. A couple of months ago he invited me to play Playstation with him.
5. A couple of months ago he added me on Facebook.
6. Last month he invited me to dinner.
7. Last month he started taking my packages home and calling me at night to pick them up from his house.
8. Last month I told him to please not do that and we had an awkward encounter at the post office where he apologized.
9. This week he moved into my apartment building and we're neighbors.
10. Are you kidding me!?!?

How is crap like American Idol on TV and my life isn't?


Yaj said...

If it's just Tony you have a problem. If it's him and his family, sick the missionaries on them!

But should things progress from there, that would put them in YOUR ward...

You mean Mr. Bill doesn't have an apartment building for employees?

Andy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Too good.

david & michal coombs said...

maybe tony will sing on american idol?...

Sara G said...

OOOOOOOOOOO wowee, someone has a secret crush on you!!!