15 January 2010

I'm With Coco

Dear NBC,

Here are ten twenty-five reasons you're being idiots for choosing Jay over Conan:

1. Jay isn't actually funny.
2. Big hair > Big chin.
3. Jay isn't actually funny.
4. Conan's skit, "The Year 2000."
5. Jay isn't actually funny.
6. Conan's skit, "Conando!"
7. Jay isn't actually funny.
8. Conan's skit, "If They Mated."
9. Jay isn't actually funny.
10. Conan's Walker, Texas Ranger lever.
11. Jay isn't actually funny.
12. Conan's nerd voice where he pushes up his fake glasses and talks about Star Trek and Lord of the Rings.
13. Jay isn't actually funny.
14. Conan's string puppet dance.
15. Jay isn't actually funny.
16. Jay's best skits, "Headlines" and "Jay-walking," aren't actually funny.
17. Jay isn't actually funny.
18. Conan's character, "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog."
19. Jay isn't actually funny.
20. Max Weinberg > Kevin Eubanks.
21. Jay isn't actually funny.
22. Even the other late night hosts agree that Jay isn't actually funny.
23. Jay isn't actually funny.
24. I'll be really sad if you take Conan off the air.
25. Jay isn't actually funny.

Also, I read that your corporate big-wig, Dick Ebersol, called Conan "gutless" and "chicken-hearted." I'm sorry, but when a dude looks like this:

I have a hard time hearing anything he says.



two forks said...


plus jay is a rat for going along with this. i pick conando any day!

Yaj said...

I like Jay's name.

Yaj said...

When are they on? I don't think I get up early enough to see them...

Yaj said...

I just watched the Triumph clip and I have to say, that was a riot!


Do those buttons really call Darth Vader's parents to come pick him up?

And how did all those people, except for the young princess, get permission to leave their parents' basements for a whole day BY THEMSELVES?


My favorite part: Spock!

I've seen Spock's wave before. I don't think that's new.

Yaj said...

Oh, and you realize Triumph is not Conan. And quite a bit funnier...

That's improv stuff. Those late-night guys can't do much without their teams of writers.

the guitarist from hell said...

Are you sure that's not a picture of Neil Young? I saw him play a duet with Dave Matthews the other night on that "I'm famous so I'll get free publicity by being on this telethon show for Haiti". And I swear, they both have the same thinning hair, vacant stare, totally not aware, and wonder if they're there.