01 February 2010

Investigative Reporting: Local Casino

Near where we live there is a sweet outlet mall with the local casino right next door. Sometimes we eat at the casino's buffet when we go to the outlet mall. The food is pretty good and I guess it's an okay casino for not being in Las Vegas, but it's kind of smoky and depressing inside. Then recently I saw this commercial on TV for it:


I thought, "Hmmm, I've been to that casino and that's now how I remember it." In the commercial everyone is so happy and beautiful and the slogan is, "You'll have fun, fun, fun at the number one place for fun!" Even the fish-throwers from Pike's Market hang out there after work.

So I set out to do some investigative reporting. I didn't have a hidden camera but I found that if I held up my phone camera it looked like I was surfing the internet just like any other fool. Here is my evidence:


First, the slots. These two didn't cheer or smile once.


These chumps just sat there as well. I think slots were more exciting back when you actually pulled the lever. These days you just push a button. No wonder they're so bored.


Next, blackjack! You would think that waiting for that magical card to hit 21 and beat the dealer would get people on the edge of their seats, but no. These fools didn't even smile once.


More blackjack, and more boring people.


Finally, some craps! In the commercial this is where all the action happened. Even the fish-thrower from Pike's Market was there with some of his customers. But in the real casino there wasn't even one catcher's mask or a high five to be seen.


Here's a couple on a romantical date at the buffet restaurant. But they were more interested in their baked salmon than each other. That's not how I pictured it.


Debbie Downer!!! How could anyone be so blah at the number one place for fun?

So, my opinion is that those casino commercials are a bunch of crap. There's no way this is the place where people have fun, fun, fun at the number one place for fun.

1 comment:

Sara G said...

Dear C-Biscuit,

We've never met but oh, how I enjoy your blog.

Sincerely,

Devoted Reader