02 March 2010

Vancouver 2010, Eh

Well, just like that, the Winter Olympics are over before you can say, "tape delay." Here are some of my favorite highlights of Vancouver 2010.

I didn't know much about ice dancing before this Olympics but after seeing this:

...I don't need to learn anymore.

Along those lines, apparently Australian aborigines were offended by the Russian ice dancing team's aboriginal theme:

Forget about the aborigines--I don't think they even have TVs and know about this. But what is offensive is that these ice dancers look like fools on ice and they're giving humans everywhere a bad name:

I really enjoyed the men's figure skating trash talk. The silver medalist from Russia said that the gold medalist from the U.S. wasn't a true champion because he didn't do a quadruple jump in his routine. So a male figure skater is taunting his rival by saying he isn't manly enough. Classic.

"I don't care what the judges say--my outfit is prettier than yours."

Hey Vancouver, I really enjoyed checking out the Olympic flame...

...from behind a chain link fence. Real classy.

And your official gift shop downtown was very overpriced but I did enjoy meeting the Russians.

"Which way to Mother Russia???" (picture Russian accent!)

The story about the Olympics beating American Idol in the ratings was funny, too. Let me get this straight NBC: the Olympics--which occur only once every four years--beat a show that is on four times a week every season and you think this is a noteworthy feat??? Nice work. Obviously it was your strategy to show everything by tape delay hours after it happened.

Bob Costas, I was reminded once again that you are a very small, small man.

Johnny Weir, I'm all about cheering for Team USA but you are one weird dude.

Then I read about this ice dancer, Allison Reed, representing Georgia (the COUNTRY!!!) who is actually from Kalamazoo, Michigan. I learned from NBC that she's never been there but she knows a few words of the language, that the capital is Tbilisi, and that she got her Georgian citizenship last month just in time to compete here. And "since the Olympics started, she has felt closer to that country than she ever thought she would." I'm not sure what that means but somehow I don't think this is what representing your country before the world in international competition is all about.

"Allison, свою очередь, сдм!" "What, I just stabbed your thigh with my skate??? I don't understand! Speak slower!"

Now meet Johanna Schnarf. She might not have won any medals, but if you're a Thundercats fan, she has the coolest name EVER.

PTI alerted me to the athletic shape of one of the U.S. bobsledders, Steve Holcomb, who actually won a gold medal. This is the kind of "athlete" that makes me realize I could be in the next Olympics if I actually stopped exercising and ate more junkfood. Now that's what America is all about. U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

Steve, did Southwest charge you for two seats on the way up to Vancouver?

And finally, Canada, we may not have beat you for the gold in ice hockey, but at least our announcers don't look like this:

...And our hockey team doesn't skate like this:

Good night, Canada.


two forks said...

thundercats, ho!

Yaj said...

I saw about 4 minutes of the Olympics. It was in a hospital waiting room, and I saw the US hockey team tie Canada and then lose a bit later.

It was a bummer of a day all around.

When you are an athlete (no matter the sport) and suggest something untoward about the manliness of another athlete, you shouldn't look like that... IMHO.