27 May 2010

The DR is in!

Well we just got back from a family trip to the Dominican Republic. Here are some photos for you to enjoy.


This sign was in our hallway: "Rest & Relaxation is something important for a good vacation." So true, so true.


I was shocked to learn that there is a Spanish version of PTI on ESPN Deportes called Cronometro. The format, screen, and even the hosts look the same. Bizarro world!


Apparently people have problems with that pesky apostrophe even in other countries. Who is this Cigar fellow and where is his '& Souvenirs Shop'?


I got second place in the resort tennis tournament. But before you get too impressed I should tell you that only six people entered (including one of the ball boys so that there would be an even number.) But they gave me a nice certificate and a bottle of rum as a prize. When I told them I don't drink, they gave me this painting instead:


It's signed, "Pablo Picasso," so obviously it's authentic. I'll sell it to you for $50.


Us with the superheroes of Dreams La Romana.


My cute little wife.

Adios!

14 May 2010

R.I.P.?


If you haven't heard about David Morales Colon of Puerto Rico, here he is. He died not too long ago but instead of a traditional funeral viewing, as you can see he opted for the upgrade package where they posthumously dress you in your favorite biking outfit and pose you on your motorcycle. Needless to say, that's quite a lasting final memory for all of your funeral attendees to take home with them.

You might think he's a little strange, but I think he's a pioneer. And the idea of a grand finale goodbye for your friends and family is intriguing. So I thought of some poses of my taxodermied self that I would like to consider for my final viewing in place of a boring open coffin:
  • Dressed in Air Jordans, basketball shorts, and a jersey, I'm suspended in mid-air as I posterize a lifesize cut-out of Michael Jordan with an amazing dunk. A thought bubble from him will say, "It must be the shoes."
  • Dressed as Davy Crockett, complete with musket, leather pants, and coon skin cap, I re-enact the defense of the Alamo. Only this time, a cut-out of Santa Anna will be my butler!
  • Dressed in an argyle sweater vest and saddle shoes, I putt on a mini golf course hole complete with windmill while a cut-out of Phil Mickelson gently claps for me in the background.
  • Dressed in a Speedo and with a smile on my face, I relax in a bubbly hot tub with the jets on while Hot Tub Time Machine is playing on DVD. (It'll be the first time I see it because I won't have time to waste on that junk while I'm alive.)
  • Dressed in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt and with my mouth wide open, I sit forward with my elbows on a picnic table while participating in a simulated food-eating contest where I'm downing an extra large cheese pizza next to a cut-out of speed-eating champion Takeru Kobayashi as he looks on in astonishment.
  • Dressed in the Argentine soccer uniform and suspended in mid-air, I re-enact the famous 1986 Maradona 'Hand of God' goal. Only this time I accidentally score on my own team to give England the World Cup victory they rightly deserved.
  • Dressed like a L.A. cop with black sunglasses from the '90s, I stand with my hand on my holster across from a lifesize cut-out of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator in Terminator 2. A thought bubble from him will say, "Hasta la vista, baby."
  • Dressed in a fine Italian suit, I make my final argument to cut-outs of the jury from Twelve Angry Men sitting in a real jury box. No sign will be necessary to inform funeral attendees that I'm about to successfully win a ruling that will ban all sales of mayonnaise in the United States!
  • Dressed in fur and leather with disheveled hair like a cave man, I crouch over some sticks in a wooded setting. There will be a look of pure astonishment and excitement on my face as I discover not only fire, but s'mores!
If you have a better idea for my funeral viewing setup, feel free to leave a comment. (But keep in mind that I still have to fit into a coffin afterward.)

07 May 2010

New Shoes, et al.

These are my new running shoes, the Reebok Zigpulses. They are awesome and they look great. And after my next workout in them, I plan to try one of those new KFC Double Down sandwiches that uses pieces of fried chicken for bread. (Hopefully it comes with mayonnaise.)


Then I will wash that down with a delicious Italian soda using this new bacon-flavored syrup from Torani.


Then to relax I will watch one of the best, original, and freshest shows on television: American Idol. Then my mailman and I will play some Playstation together. Then in response to my law school's myriad solicitations for donations to the alumni fund, I will make a contribution as a token of my appreciation for all the doors my law degree has opened.

|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
V