20 October 2010

Why We Wear Ties: An Essay

Why do we wear neck ties? The more I think about it, the further I am from an answer. I get the suit and dress shirt, sure, but the tie?

Society: "Hey, you're a guy, so you should fasten a colorful, yet tight, noose around your neck."
Guy: "Okay."

When you think about it that way, maybe Lady Gaga's meat dress wasn't so crazy after all.

And I haven't even mentioned how dangerous they are. Who hasn't gotten their tie stuck in a blender, shredder, or escalator at some point?

(Don't worry buddy, we've all been there!)

And don't even think about telling your mom you don't want to wear one to church. She might make you wear two:
(My little brother, circa 1991)

Missionaries don't have a choice either--they have to wear one every day: (some wear the same one for their entire mission, except for transfer days)

(Rome, 1999. Also required: sweet braided leather belts.)

But really, why does society insist on this social norm? We already know we won't wear them in the future:
(Stardate 5943.7, Stardate 47622.1)

And we know from history how lame previous iterations looked:
(1795, 1815)

Plus styles change drastically every decade so you have to keep buying new ones. At the time they may look fine but when you look back it's pretty obvious they were ridiculous:
(San Diego, 1970s)

Surprisingly, though, if you wait long enough, your old ties will become stylish again:
(1966, 2010)

But sometimes they don't look good even now and you just know they never will:

But we still wear them. And I have no idea why.

11 October 2010

Books: Check 'Em Out!

Seattle just announced huge budget cuts and increased taxes across the city for the upcoming year. This includes cuts to the Seattle Public Library budget as well as reduced hours and a mandatory week-long, branch-wide library closure in August.

Or maybe instead they could save money by not buying:
  • 64 copies of Sh*t My Dad Says (I'm mostly just jealous that my blog/twitter account haven't made me millions)
  • 6 copies of Saw, 4 copies of Saw II, 3 copies of Saw III, and 9 copies of Saw IV
  • 31 copies of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
  • 51 copies of Clash of the Titans (not sure if this is the new or old version, but does it really matter?)
  • 42 copies of Twilight (the book) and 134 copies of Twilight (the movie)
  • 160 copies of Battlestar Galactica (we made the mistake of renting season one recently--what a frakking waste of time)
  • 167 copies of The Hangover
  • 126 copies of Pineapple Express
  • 104 copies of Forgetting Sarah Marshall
  • 48 copies of Knocked Up
  • 43 copies of Superbad
Anyway, it's just an idea.

07 October 2010

Birthday Recap

Well, my big day was a few weeks ago. I didn't write a blog the day of like last year because basically I'm out of birthday material. Also, I'm now closer to 40 than 20 and that really depresses me. But I still wanted to show the world my amazing birthday cakes from the past two birthdays, courtesy of my lovely wife.

This year: Super Mario Bros.!!!

(Despite what it may seem, I am actually in my thirties.)

Last year: Legos!!!

(Why am I wearing the same shirt two years in a row??? Another aside: when Robin went into the Lego store to ask if they had any decorations for a birthday party she was planning, they thought it was for her little boy. Little boy no, man child yes.)

Bonus recap from two years ago: Pizza!!!

(Robin found these old invitations in her granny's house. They were scratch and sniff!!)

With any luck, next year I'll get a Twilight cake!